[sigh] “Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... "-Jeremy (Wedding Crashers 2005).
While yes, Jeremy does make some excellent points about the initial phases of dating, I think we can all agree that things become much more enjoyable once we actually enter into an official relationship. Walls come down, feelings get revealed, and magical moments happen. Although each relationship is distinctly unique, people express love in similar ways…via Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service, or Gifts. Think about your current or past relationships..how has a person showed they loved you? Maybe your significant other would express their love via words/phrases...sending a text to say "I love you" or writing a card that says "you're gorgeous" or writing on your facebook wall "I'm so lucky to have landed someone as wonderful as you". Maybe your significant other would randomly give you a hug for no reason, massage your shoulders without being asked, or kiss your forehead when you were feeling under the weather. Maybe your significant other spends an abnormal amount of time with you even when there is nothing in it for them (watching ESPN, going to the chick flick you wanted to see, coming to your soccer game, or going shopping at Bed Bath & Beyond for a shower curtain). Maybe your significant other is unusually eager to carry your luggage, do your laundry, or cook you dinner. Or Maybe your significant other brings you home a souvenir whenever he goes away on business, sends flowers to your office "just because", or stops by Sbucks on the way home from the gym, and surprises you with your favorite latte.
Now let's assume all of the above is in the context of a marriage.. and let's also assume that in this marriage there was a 100% guarantee that your spouse would never leave you or divorce you. (In theory, this is what marriage should be, but the divorce rate is over 50%, *sigh*). Regardless of what you do, say, or don't do or say, your spouse will always love you the same amount (i.e. unconditional love). If this was the case, would your behavior towards your spouse change? Well I certainly hope not!!!!!!! When you love someone, you want to do things that please them, so in all likelihood you will continue expressing your love via one of the 5 aforementioned love languages. Now don’t get me wrong, there will be times when you get lazy and slack off because you know the relationship is covered in grace and even if you choose not to take out the trash even though your spouse asked, forget to bring home her favorite pizza when you leave the office, or end a phone conversation prematurely before saying “I love you honey”, your spouse will still love you the same and remain married to you.
Now let’s take it one step further. Knowing that your spouse would NEVER leave you or stop loving you, would you see that as your ticket to be a rebel without a cause and do ‘bad things”? For instance, if you knew your wife would forgive you, would you sleep with your secretary or your wife's best friend. ? If you knew your husband would forgive you, would you allow another man to take you out to dinner, buy you jewelry, and let you live with him 3 days a week in his beach house in South Beach? OH HAILLLLL NO. Yes, you might from time to time subconsciously show your love less, but you would never in a million years want to do something that you KNEW would severely hurt or cause pain to your spouse.
So if we can agree that when in a relationship in which we love someone, we would try and do things to please them and also try to avoid things that would hurt them even though our actions would not affect the status of the relationship... then why is it so hard to believe that a Christian would act similarly in a relationship with God? Look. Christianity is not a religion, it’s a relationship with God. God loves us unconditionally in spite of ourselves and this will never change. We know this because he has given us a free gift we don't deserve. (Romans 5:6-10) He sent Jesus to die for our sins (past, present, and future), so that we may, if we choose, be forgiven, no longer be separated from God, and spend eternity with God in heaven. (Ephesians 2:1-10) (John 3:16) Once we accept this free gift of salvation, we can be 100% certain that nothing we say or do will take this away from us. So if we have accepted this free gift, it follows that we have entered into a relationship with Jesus/God (1 Peter 1:3-5). If we are in a relationship with God, and we know that He loves us, then we will love him back in return (1 John 4:19). If we love Him, we are going to do things that will please him and avoid doing things we know will hurt him. Do you now see that even though we are technically under no requirement to follow the 10 commandments, and we are technically not obligated to pray, go to church, give to the poor, or read the Bible in order to earn our way into heaven, we as Christians will still try our best to avoid sin and strive for righteousness? Let me put it this way... God’s love language ain’t gifts or physical touch…GOD'S LOVE LANGUAGE IS OBEDIENCE YA'LL! If you love me, you'll obey my commandments. (John 14:15)… so let’s try and do things that please him, mmm k?
I’ll leave you with this thought provoking question. Where does your relationship with God stand? (Have you had a DTR (define the relationship)with God? Is God even on your radar? Are you interested but not sure God is? Are you in a relationship with God but are taking Him for granted? ) If you haven’t had a DTR with God, maybe it’s about high time you should.
Now let’s take it one step further. Knowing that your spouse would NEVER leave you or stop loving you, would you see that as your ticket to be a rebel without a cause and do ‘bad things”? For instance, if you knew your wife would forgive you, would you sleep with your secretary or your wife's best friend. ? If you knew your husband would forgive you, would you allow another man to take you out to dinner, buy you jewelry, and let you live with him 3 days a week in his beach house in South Beach? OH HAILLLLL NO. Yes, you might from time to time subconsciously show your love less, but you would never in a million years want to do something that you KNEW would severely hurt or cause pain to your spouse.
So if we can agree that when in a relationship in which we love someone, we would try and do things to please them and also try to avoid things that would hurt them even though our actions would not affect the status of the relationship... then why is it so hard to believe that a Christian would act similarly in a relationship with God? Look. Christianity is not a religion, it’s a relationship with God. God loves us unconditionally in spite of ourselves and this will never change. We know this because he has given us a free gift we don't deserve. (Romans 5:6-10) He sent Jesus to die for our sins (past, present, and future), so that we may, if we choose, be forgiven, no longer be separated from God, and spend eternity with God in heaven. (Ephesians 2:1-10) (John 3:16) Once we accept this free gift of salvation, we can be 100% certain that nothing we say or do will take this away from us. So if we have accepted this free gift, it follows that we have entered into a relationship with Jesus/God (1 Peter 1:3-5). If we are in a relationship with God, and we know that He loves us, then we will love him back in return (1 John 4:19). If we love Him, we are going to do things that will please him and avoid doing things we know will hurt him. Do you now see that even though we are technically under no requirement to follow the 10 commandments, and we are technically not obligated to pray, go to church, give to the poor, or read the Bible in order to earn our way into heaven, we as Christians will still try our best to avoid sin and strive for righteousness? Let me put it this way... God’s love language ain’t gifts or physical touch…GOD'S LOVE LANGUAGE IS OBEDIENCE YA'LL! If you love me, you'll obey my commandments. (John 14:15)… so let’s try and do things that please him, mmm k?
I’ll leave you with this thought provoking question. Where does your relationship with God stand? (Have you had a DTR (define the relationship)with God? Is God even on your radar? Are you interested but not sure God is? Are you in a relationship with God but are taking Him for granted? ) If you haven’t had a DTR with God, maybe it’s about high time you should.
p.s. if you are curious to what your love language is go here.
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