Thursday, April 21, 2011

Origin of The High- Five, according to How I Met Your Mother


In honor of National High-Five day, I feel it is my civic duty to let you in on a little secret... the origin of the High-Five.. I'll defer to Barney from How I Met Your Mother (a racier, funnier, version of "Friends") to educate you on the High-Five's rich 2000+ year history.

Barney: You can't call her, you have to wait three days to call a woman. That's the rule!

Ted: Barney, that rule is completely played out. Girls know exactly what you're doing. Hey I got a new rule, it's kind of crazy, it's called you like her, you call her

Barney: I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I don't speak "I never get girls" . Jesus waited THREE days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited ONE day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard he died. They'd be all, "Hey Jesus, what up?" and Jesus would probably be like, "What up? I DIED yesterday!" and they'd be all, "Uhh, you look pretty alive to me, dude..." and then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and the dude'd be like "Uhh okay, whatever you say, bro..." And he's not gonna come back on a SATURDAY. Everybody's busy, doing chores, workin' the loom, trimmin' the beard, NO. He waited the perfect number of days, THREE. Plus it's SUNDAY, so everyone's in church already, and they're all in there like "Oh no, Jesus is DEAD", and then BAM! He bursts in the back door, runnin' up the aisle, everyone's totally psyched, and FYI, that's when he invented the high five. That's why we wait three days to call a woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait.... True story

So why did Jesus think it was appropriate to give a High-Five? According to today's standards, people dish out High-Fives when a person does something awesome... so let's see what things Jesus did that were awesome to merit a celebratory High-Five, mmm k?


Do Something Awesome #1- Set a World Record!

Up until the time of Jesus, ain't no body been able to live a perfect life... I mean shoot maybe peeps thought Noah was a "good" person because he listened to God and built and ark, or maybe peeps thought Moses was a "good" person because he helped release the Israelites from slavery in Egypt, or maybe peeps thought King David was legit because he defeated the scary/enormous "Goliath". WRONG. Noah got crunk (crazy + drunk) post chilling in the ark, Moses committed murder and later disobeyed God's instructions, and David committed adultery and aided the murder of some poor brah. So Jesus comes along and is all I'm going to be tempted in every way possible, yet still not sin, aka lead a perfect life!

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin.” Hebrews 4:15

"Such a high priest truly meets our need—one who is holy, blameless, pure, set apart from sinners, exalted above the heavens. Unlike the other high priests, he does not need to offer sacrifices day after day, first for his own sins, and then for the sins of the people. He sacrificed for their sins once for all when he offered himself. For the law appoints as high priests men in all their weakness; but the oath, which came after the law, appointed the Son, who has been made perfect forever. “ Hebrews 7:26-28


Do Something Awesome #2- Ends Cruelty to Animals! (PETA likes this)Before Jesus, life was pretty crappy. There were 100s of rules that Israelites were commanded to follow (including the 10 commandments). Additionally, the Israelites were told that breaking a rule, or “sinning”, could be punishable by death, AND the sinful act couldn’t be forgiven UNLESS there was the shedding of blood (i.e. sacrificing an innocent, unblemished animal). To complicate matters further, peeps didn’t have the luxury of talking to God whenever they wanted. In fact, only the appointed high priest was allowed to be in the presence of God (located in the Holy Place) ONCE per year to offer animal sacrifices for his own sins and the sins of the community (Hebrews 9: 1-10). So then, Jesus rolls up having lived a perfect life, and is all hey I’ll just thrown down my life as the ultimate sacrifice (i.e. allow peeps to crucify him on wrongful charges), in order to forgive everyone for ALL sins, once and for all. Oh and PS , me doing this will allow you to have a restored relationship with God and you can hablar con Dios anytime you like, 24-7!

“Jesus has become the guarantor of a better covenant. Now there have been many of those priests, since death prevented them from continuing in office; but because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood. Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them. Such a high priest truly meets our need—one who is holy, blameless, pure, set apart from sinners, exalted above the heavens. Unlike the other high priests, he does not need to offer sacrifices day after day, first for his own sins, and then for the sins of the people. He sacrificed for their sins once for all when he offered himself. For the law appoints as high priests men in all their weakness; but the oath, which came after the law, appointed the Son, who has been made perfect forever.” Hebrews 7:22-28


Do Something Awesome #3: - Raise Himself From the Dead, sans Magic!Jesus rose from the dead 3 days after he was crucified…if he didn’t we would have a dead savior and he would have been nothing more than a martyr. However, since Christ is living today, the sacrifice he made for us is legit and we can have the promise of eternal inheritance, i.e. heaven because of it. HOORAY!

“He did not enter by means of the blood of goats and calves; but he entered the Most Holy Place once for all by his own blood, thus obtaining eternal redemption. The blood of goats and bulls and the ashes of a heifer sprinkled on those who are ceremonially unclean sanctify them so that they are outwardly clean. How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God! For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance—now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant. “Hebrews 9:12-15

So there you have it! OH AND BTW, I couldn't find a mention of a "High-Five" in the Bible, so Barney may or may not have made that up. In any event, Happy Easter!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Legit Bumper Sticker


Ever since I was a wee lil one, I've been drinking the bumper sticker haterade. I mean really, I don't care to know that you OBX, put hope in YES WE CAN OBAMA 2008, have a BABY ON BOARD, think you're funny- I SEE DEAF PEOPLE, would RATHER BE RUNNING, are PRO-CHOICE, care to STOP GLOBAL WARMING, take pride in the fact that MY KID CAN BEAT UP YOUR HONOR ROLL STUDENT, support anything Bob Barker does- DON'T LITTER: SPAY OR NEUTER, are too lazy to remove your old stickers- GORE/LIEBERMAN '01, or perhaps worst state the obvious- MEAN PEOPLE SUCK. It wasn't until last Wednesday, at the Sunoco on Glebe in Arlington that I actually saw a bumper sticker I loved. The 2005 black VW GTI was sporting a sticker in the rear windshield that read " Don't be a Fool! 1 Corinthians 1:18". Not knowing what this verse said, Kristen and I looked it up in her car Bible:

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.”

WOW. This is legit. There really are 2 groups of people. Those that think the message of Christianity is utter rubbish and foolishness, and those that think the message of Christianity is live saving. Which camp do you belong to? Do you truly believe there is a God, that he came to earth in the form of a man (Jesus), led a perfect life, was crucified on a cross to take on the punishment we deserve for our sins, and rose from the dead 3 days later so that we could be reconciled to God, forgiven, and granted eternal life? OR do you hold the complete opposite view, thinking the above claims are absolute garbage and a crutch that weak people use to deal with their pathetic life? If you still aren't certain, take a look at the 2 views from a more in-depth perspective:

WORLD VIEW

I will live my life according to these beliefs.

God does NOT exist.

It’s just foolish to think that there is an all knowing God with a cosmic plan.

That an all powerful God brings purpose to the pain and suffering in the world is a comforting thought.

HOWEVER, it is only wishful thinking.

People can do as they please WITHOUT eternal consequences.

The idea that I am deserving of hell because of sin, IS A LIE meant to make me a slave to those in power.

“The more you have, the happier you’ll be.”

Our existence has NO GRAND MEANING OR PURPOSE.

In a world with no God, there is freedom to be who I want to be.

But WITH God, life is an ENDLESS cycle of GUILT and SHAME.

WITHOUT God , everything is fine, It is RIDICULOUS to think I am lost and in need of saving.


*******Now, completely reverse this thinking, literally, and you have*******


CHRISTIAN VIEW:

I am LOST and in NEED of saving.

It is ridiculous to think, everything is fine.

WITHOUT God , Life is an endless cycle of guilt and shame.

But WITH God, there is FREEDOM to be who I want to be.

In a world with No God, our existence has no grand meaning or purpose.

“The more you have, the happier you’ll be”, IS A LIE meant to make me a slave to those in power.

Because of sin, I am DESERVING of hell.

The idea that people can do as they please WITHOUT eternal consequences is only WISHFUL thinking.

It Is comforting though, however ,that an ALL POWERFUL God brings PURPOSE to the PAIN and SUFFERING in the world, That there is an ALL KNOWING God with a cosmic PLAN.

It’s just foolish to think God does NOT exist.

I will live my life according to these beliefs.


So now, we all likely have a good idea of what set of beliefs we align with....but let me ask you this: How did you arrive at your decision for your belief system? Did you gain your beliefs by trusting what your gut was telling you ? Accepting what your parents/friends/significant other told you to be the truth? Having life circumstances turn out in a way that you didn't like or understand? Reading the Bible? Going to church? Studying science? Having a bad experience with a so called "Christian"? Using logic and common sense? I'd like to challenge anyone who reads this to put in time, challenge your beliefs, do research, and seek out the Truth. If you are willing to put in multiple hours to research your next car purchase, (which will only last you 5-10 years), how much time would you be willing to put in to research the possibility of life after death, which would last for all of eternity?


EPILOGUE:
The Reverse Thinking power featured above is courtesy of author David D. Dietrich. ( thank you Jayne for sending this to me :) ). Additionally, Jason, the owner of the VW with the sticker, was gracious enough to send me 10+ bumper stickers. If anyone would like one for their room, car, office desk, etc let me know and I'll be sure to get it to you! Finally, I asked some of the women in my Bible study and Kristen what kind of biblical bumper sticker they would have, if forced by gunpoint to sport one. They listed the following:

Wake up!
Romans 13:11

What is truth?
John 18:37

Keep on Keepin' on!
2 Cor 4:18